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Kenyan Women on a Sex Strike: Why They Did It PDF Print E-mail
Written by Nekessa Opoti   
Tuesday, 05 May 2009

I must be getting it wrong. Or maybe most people are missing the point of the sex strike.

My first reaction when I heard about the sex strike was: how bold! what a statement! Still, I questioned their use of sex as a tool of peace. And then I began to watch in dismay as the country reacted. Perhaps we all agree that Kenyan politicians need to get their act together. But sex is still a taboo; unspoken.

The backlash from Kenyans is not surprising. The chatter on social networking sites, and in email conversations, shows that many Kenyans do not believe that this was the right strategy.  But first let's look at examples in recent history where women have gone on sex strikes to make political, human rights and economic statements.

In Naples last year, Neapolitan women sought to prevent their men from exploding fireworks at Christmas and New Year celebrations by denying them sex. The campaign had the support of the local authorities as well as the Church; it seems to have succeeded.

In Colombia, there have been two serious attempts at the Lysistrata strategy.

In 1997 the BBC reported that, "Studies found that local gang members were drawn to criminality by the desire for status, power, and sexual attractiveness, not economic necessity, Colombian radio reported.":

the chief of the Colombian army, appealed on national television to the wives and girlfriends of the Colombian left-wing guerrillas, drug traffickers, and paramilitaries. He urged them to deny sex to their menfolk until a cease fire was reached. At the same time, the mayor of Bogota, Antanas Mockus Civicas, declared the city a women-only zone for a night, suggesting men stay at home to reflect on violence. The Communists ridiculed these initiatives, pointing out that they numbered more than 2,000 females among their own ranks. Nonetheless, the measure, combined with democratic and diplomatic approaches, achieved a brief cease fire.

And in 2006,

...dozens of wives and girlfriends of gang members from Pereira (Colombia), started a sex strike called "La huelga de las piernas cruzadas" (the strike of crossed legs) to curb gang violence, in response to 480 deaths due to gang violence in that coffee region. According to spokesman Jennifer Bayer, the specific target was the strike was to force gang members to turn in their weapons in compliance with the law. According to them, many gang members were involved in violent crime for status and sexual attractiveness, and the strike sent the message that refusing to turn in the guns was not sexy. 

In Poland in 1992:

....a newly elected Catholic prime minister made abortions illegal for the first time since the 1950s: since contraception was not widely available in the country, abortions had traditionally been the most prevalent method of birth control. When this became illegal, birth rates fell dramatically: Polish women refused sex for fear of getting pregnant. Since then, an anti-clerical government has replaced the Catholic one, at least in part as a result of the pro-choice backlash.

The following two cases have perhaps been the most effective.

In Liberia while the peace talks that eventually ended the civil war were in progress, it became clear to a group of concerned women that Charles Taylor's side wasn't taking the talks with the seriousness they deserved. So the women camped outside the parties' door and refused to leave until a deal was made. The Ghanaian president met with the women, assured them of his support for their initiative, and promised that he would do his best to ensure that the talks would be taken seriously. The women, then, had external support. Watch (video below) the documentary "Pray the Devil Back to Hell" where the women explain how their sex strike worked: pressures in personal relationships pushed men to action against rebel leaders and prayer. Atieno Demo makes a powerful case for why the personal is political.

Iceland's movement in in 1975 also received national prominence resulting in one of the first equality legislation in the world. Known as the "Women's Day Off ", this was more than a sex strike: women stayed home from work to protest discriminatory wages. 

 Several women organizations in Kenya, including FIDA, have banded together in a week-long sex ban in protest over the infighting plaguing the national unity government. Other groups in the coalition are Caucus for Women's Leadership and Maendeleo ya Wanawake. (You can read their press release here ).

The following are the demands from these women's groups:
  • President Kibaki and Mr Odinga respect the people and nation of Kenya by “ending forthwith the little power games” that undermine the dignity, safety and democratic spaces of our country;
  • The President and PM give respect, full intent, interpretation and observation to the spirit and letter of the National Accord and Reconciliation;
  • A responsive, sensitive and people-driven leadership and coalition government that is decisive, clear about the country’s priorities, willing to sacrifice individual ambition for the greater good of the nation, a leadership that inspires confidence amongst the country’s people;
  • Fast-tracking of the reforms agenda, and,
  • Resignation of Vice-President Kalonzo Musyoka and refusal by him to be used to defeat the National Accord.

In Kenya, the situation is not as extreme as in Liberia; the behaviour which they want to stop has no direct connection with sex, as it seems to have had in Colombia; and, unlike Iceland, Colombia, Poland and Italy, Kenyan women don't already have the power that might make the threat a threat a plausible one. Still, all that is necessary for the strike to succeed is for it to have an impact. And that it certainly will. It has drawn attention to the difficulties which Kenyan women face, and it has shown that they will not hesitate to use what power they have to collectively improve their lot.

There's an argument to be made that Kenyan men interact with women intimately only when having, or seeking, sex. Women are deliberately shut out of almost every other influential position: decisions in the home, and state, are not only not theirs to make, they cannot even significantly influence them. So it seems that a woman's power is limited to her relationship(s). But not even always, since we know that many women do not have the right to say no to sex, with their husbands, boyfriends, or bosses.

The feminists of G10 want them to use it, since that's a key part of the power that women are able to command. It could be argued that this choice plays directly into the hands of antifeminists who will take it as confirmation of the stereotype that women are wily, good for nothing and so on. On the other hand, women are entitled to use the weapons at their disposal, within reason. There is nothing wrong, of itself, in witholding sex. And the antifeminists would find reason to oppose conceding women their rights whether or not women chose this strategy.

So why think that the strike will be a success? And, if it isn't a success, what's the point of engaging in it?

A double-edged sword: sex and power. By forcing a national conversation on a taboo topic, these Kenyan women have turned the lens back to Kenyans.

A theme begins to resonate: that a woman's power only lies in her sexuality. The Daily Nation runs this headline: "The Strength of a Woman," casting women as sex objects, that even when they are denying men sex, they can essentially only give and take away sex.

But sex is not what the strike is about. The strike is calling to action a government that is  not serving people.

A white-haired man, interviewed on television the next day, proclaimed, with no shame or embarrassment, that a woman's duty from birth is to serve God and her man. And because women were denying men their rights, well, they should be beaten up. Several other comments I have seen are unworthy of discussion. But I will mention them nonetheless. That feminists are breakers of homes. Yes, the very feminists who are on strike because they are afraid of a repeat of the post election violence. That they might be lesbians and have no husbands or boyfriends; a very tired and irrelevant argument. That Kenyan politicians only sleep with their wives once or twice a year: power displaced.

Many people have wondered why non-political men should be "punished" for the sins of Kenya's political class. If we are to use this argument then teachers, nurses, doctors, policemen and other civil servants should never go on strike because their pupils, patients et al are not responsible for their grievances.  Sex, unlike medical treatment and education, is not even a right. But wouldn't it be great if men supported this strike, and demanded more from their government? The beginning of the framing of a continuing national crisis: a self-serving political class. But this, I understand, is wishful thinking on my part. 

It is not just men who have missed the point of the strike. Muslim women in Mombasa, and Kenyan churches, have called the strike a reckless pronouncement that would lead to men divorcing their wives. A shame isn't it? That sex, the kind in which a woman has no choice, is the glue that holds our families together. 

I am afraid the joke is on us. 

In Nigeria, Ekiti women have taken to a more expressive strike: women took to the streets half-naked last week as they protested delayed election results hoping to shame them into action, afterall noone wants to see their mother, grandmother, or aunts naked.

___________________



Nekessa Opoti
About the author:
Nekessa Opoti is the Group Publisher of the Imagine Company, the parent company of Kenya Imagine. 




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Thoughtful commentary
written by Mary Turck , May 05, 2009
Thanks for a thoughtful and well-written overview of the Lysistrata attempts in modern times. It is unfortunate that the most prominent result of the women's strike is an outpouring of anti-women comments and statements.
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Was a sex ban the right stick to use against these men?
written by Paula , May 06, 2009
Thank you for writing this article Nekessa. It is a sad day for Kenya that the Sex strike has ended and there really isn't much to show for it apart for a few headlines. I admit I was a bit surprised at the Sex strike - it seemed to me to be a tactic to attract headlines. Not just in Kenya but world wide. Today on BBC interviews with men revealed that their women did not strike,that they didn't see why they should be punished for the errors of Kibaki and Raila. I agree - and I personally did not participate. Not because I'm not mad, not because I don't want these hopeless leaders to change or simply go away. But because I personally don't believe that the sex strike was the right move, I think it stank of desperation. Women need to have a voice yes, but lets not use our sexuality - I mean, what next? Why can't we get organized as women, stop bickering amongst our selves and actually make a difference! We didn't vote for Ida nor Lucy - lets not use them for our causes. They only represent their greedy corrupt husbands and sons.

My son's reaction when he heard about women withholding sex for something was 'doesn't that make them prostitutes?'. The point was missed yes, because the event was not well organized. The few people who did make sense were drowned out by men making hay about their rights.

That the sex strike made us talk about the taboo subject of sex, sexuality, our role as women, sexual offenses etc - wonderful outcome BUT THAT WAS NOT THE POINT OF THE STRIKE!

Neither Raila nor Kibaki seemed to notice it and they continued to haul in headline with their maddening bickering. Ida said she joined the strike in solidarity with women, the same Ida whose son is involved in a number of scandals, the same Ida who is benefiting if not actively engaged in corruption. I personally do not want her or any of her family on my side.

We need to show our disappointment at our leaders everyday

I think we need to use a very subtle approach - ever heard of the frowning movement - it was started by one of the Kennedy's to show disappointment with people who supported the KKK in USA. Well, if we all frown every time someone praises those stupid leaders, rewards corruption, every time one of the stands on a pedestal - that silent facial expression could send a very loud message that we don't agree even if we're unwilling to take the risk and speak out aloud. I send frowns out on twitter to people who diss Obama for being Kenyan... and I frown on anyone who praises our useless leaders, the Mungiki, the police, and those who finance them, as well as anyone who throws rubbish out of their car windows, matatu drivers who undertake on the sidewalk.

The nice thing about frowning is that everyone can do it. Might not get headlines, but head on attacks often force people to dig their heels in and insist that they are right.
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I support the strike
written by jaya wardene , May 06, 2009
There comes a point in the life of any Nation when desperate times call for desperate measures. I am glad that Nekessa has used the examples of Colombia and even Italy. This is a universal expression.

As a Man I am shamed thoroughly that we have sunk this low. Our mothers, our wives, our sisters and daughters are fed up with the direction that our country is taking. They are prepared to make a stand(and a sacrifice). What are the menfolk going to do about it?
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Response to Comments Above
written by Nekessa , May 06, 2009
Thanks everyone for your comments. Let me try and respond to everyone's comments
@Mary, I was very surprised to find that Lysistrata was more than an ancient Greek play/comedy. When I watched Pray the Devil Back to Hell I was impressed that Liberian women had found allies in their male partners, thus the success of their strike.

@Paula, I hope that we can have one of the women of G10 write on these pages, and tell us why they did it. It would open a much needed discussion. While I cannot speak to them, I think they made a statement. We just did not hear them.

Certainly, we need to protest ineffective government. Frowning is an idea, but will only happen when we collectively recognize that life in Kenya cannot be business as usual when so much is going wrong. What about quiet organized sit-ins? And many groups of Kenyan human rights groups have certainly participated in peaceful protests, but have many times run into resistance from law enforcement. I still insist the sex strike was loud and bold. If only we had listened. I also concede that it is tricky to talk about the appropriation of sex as a tool of protest in a country like Kenya; thus the challenge.

(and thanks for your very long and thoughtful response)

@ jaya wardene, always refreshing to see a man not taking the status quo on gender issues. Kenyans, men and women, need to make a stand.

Really read about Iceland, and see how the economic/political changes that the women effected had an outstanding results in gender relations
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written by gideon , May 07, 2009
interesting. i'd say there are many ways of killing a rat. including setting the house on fire.
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No action
written by liza , May 08, 2009
tho' the strike has end there was no reaction. Still the prezo and the Pm have done nothing.
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re: Kenyan Women on a Sex Strike
written by misswretched , May 17, 2009
Nekessa, thanks for a very comprehensive article. I think it is important to contextualise the Kenya sex strike among other protests of its kind. I believe one of the reasons that the strategy was so heavily bashed is because the concept of gender equity remains very foreign to us. All the talk of conjugal rights and women's sexual obligations showed us this. As you said, often our women don't have the right to say no to husbands, boyfriends or bosses. As a result, our conversations about sex have become conversations about women's powerlessness. This strike has demonstrated just how well our powerlessness in the bedroom translates into our political powerlessness.

I hope that in addition to addressing the pressing political issues, we can also address the inequalities which hold us back as Kenyan men and women. I'm also pleased to read Jaya's response and hoping there are more men out there who are also willing to think outside the 'conjugal rights' box.

http://mywretchedconsciousness.wordpress.com
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