You know those relationships that end badly and you say “Let’s be friends” just for the sake of it? This is one of those.

Anyway he is quite manipulative and I am quite manipulatable (sometimes, only sometimes)

This time, the excuse was that he had some friends who were undergoing some relationship problems so he was asking me how bad ours was and if I can identify anything which is similar to his “friends’” situations which can help them out.

Seriously?

Anyway little good old me started, hesitantly, outlining the problems we had, like “it was the worst relationship I’ve ever been in” and “you made my life a living hell” and “I look back at it all and regret it with all my being”, but in nicer words, like “you were ok but we were just different” or “you thought I needed fixing and I didn’t” or “I couldn’t deal with the pressure you put on me”…you know, things we have talked about like 102 times before! 

So he was saying if I’ve moved on so much like I claim I should be able to talk about it without hesitating or acting weird around him (which I do, apparently, I’m not that comfortable around him. Whatever.) 

So I started doubting myself.

If I’ve put it all behind me I should be able to talk to him like nothing ever happened, we should be the tightest of buddies (he always initiates conversation and he says if not for that I would never talk to him…so true) 

Do I have to be best friends with my ex? How?

See what I mean? He is very manipulative. 

So these are my thoughts on exes:

Friendship is not always possible no matter how much time has passed.

If you have been intimate and shared a deep emotional connection, how do you go from that and tone it down to just friends?

If you have so much history and practically know each other inside out, how do you now form a bond as friends without crossing boundaries or bringing up more issues and baggage? 

I am totally over him.

He was telling me about his girl woes (some new girl in his life) and I felt nothing. Zero. Zilch. (Except the teeniest amount of glee that she played him..:) ) 

I was sure that would be the ultimate test of whether I’m over him. And I am.

But that doesn’t mean I’m going to be his best friend.

I’m not even going to be his friend.

Acquaintances will do for now.

Too much baggage involved. 

The paradox is, if we are friends, it’s like am being pulled back and not moving on since we’ll keep re-hashing on the past and our reference point will always be what we had, yet I need to make a fresh start.

It’s a paradox in itself. 

So I don’t think exes who have been in a troublesome relationship can ever be real friends.

But I could be wrong.