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Mother Teresa an atheist? |
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Written by Tim Norwood
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Wednesday, 29 August 2007 |
I have not believed in God for a long time, not since when as a child I realised that the grown-ups around me were unable to explain the weaknesses in their intepretations of the religion they wished I be a part of.
First, I found out that the Christianity of Jesus was very different from the religion that I had been taught as a child, and then the more I read from the Bible, the more it became obvious that even such core ideas as the Trinity had no basis whatsoever in Scripture. By the time I came across Constantine and Justinian , and the vigorous arguments of Darwinism I was so angry and just about ready to kill God if I found he wasn't dead yet. I could not understand why he would have allowed all the terrors of history that happened in his name, or that he omnipotent, omniscient and omnipresent could sit idly by fiddling his spiritual thumbs as the world went to hell. So it was that when I read this week that letters had been released to the public, showing that the late Mother Teresa often went through similar crises of faith , enduring ones by all accounts; I was filled with a sense of the familiar. The letters show that for all her world-changing altruism, Mother Teresa felt fake from the inside, a gnawing hollowness that ate at her even as she received the Nobel Peace Prize. The emotion and sense of desperation in the letters is so raw and profound, that even for an atheist like me there's a feeling of guilt in using this experience to affirm the irrationality of religion. I call, I cling, I want ... and there is no One to answer ... no One on Whom I can cling ... no, No One. Alone ... Where is my Faith ... even deep down right in there is nothing, but emptiness & darkness ... My God ... how painful is this unknown pain ... I have no Faith ... I dare not utter the words & thoughts that crowd in my heart ... & make me suffer untold agony. | Mother Teresa, you will remember, lived a life of unceasing immolation, of constant devotion and hard work. Before she went to Calcutta, she said that Jesus spoke to her asking that he use her for his glory. She did not refuse, answering instead, ‘I want to Love Jesus as he has never been loved before'. Her priest revealed that as he saw these developments, he saw that ‘Her union with Our Lord has been continual and so deep and violent that rupture does not seem far.' He reports also that Mother Teresa announced to him, ‘Jesus gave himself to me.' And then came the silence. The late Agnes Bojaxhiu, Mother Teresa, revealed that she did not after that hear from Jesus again , he was never there for her she said. Even as she grew more famous and powerful, even as she gave herself over completely to good works of charity , the only time she says her sense of despair and sense of abandonment was lifted was a brief five weeks following the death of Pope Pius XII. But I do not intend that this article be seen as a reason to reject or mock religion. That Mother Teresa was able to continue in her service, even after she lost the spark of her faith is testament to the endurance and power of humanism. The extraordinary tenacity and enthusiasm she showed are evidence that even when faith and the consolations it brings are robbed from us, we can still conduct giving, moral existences. Mother Teresa is not the first prominent religious figure to have shown evidence of such intense doubts about her faith. Here in the West there have been a number of high profile bishops who have declared themselves atheists, but who continue to teach religion, believing in its therapeutic values and its ability to bring the best out of people.
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Last Updated ( Sunday, 22 June 2008 )
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The ones I have read, and it seems Mother Teresa may have belonged in this tradition, nevertheless affirm the redemptive value of the exemplary life of the Christ as recorded in the Gospels and as handed down over the ages.
It seems to me that the problem is that the word Theism (the whole immanent, transcedent, all-knowing, all-wise, all-time) is the problem. So when someone refuses to believe in this theism, he is then branded an atheist, even though all it may be is that he has a different intepretation of the divine.
P.S. I keep meeting Kenyan girls who call themselves Christian (possibly culturally) but are also drawn into the pantheistic ways of Hinduism and Buddhism even arguing that there is no contradiction.