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'We want Dick,' Kenyan call girls plead |
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Written by Ombuya E. Okongo
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Friday, 16 November 2007 |
Members of the Kenyan United Makahaba Association of Africa pleaded with their fellow citizens yesterday to stop attacking presidential hopeful Raila Odinga for his decision to invite into his campaign American playboy Dick Morris, who the organization’s top official called “a generous foreign investor.”
Addressing thousands of sex workers clad in skimpy outfits at a
promiscuously peaceful and arousing demonstration outside KUMAA's
headquarters on Koinange Street, the organization's executive director,
who only wanted to be know by her street name, Malaika, asked Kenyans
to see Dick not as a pervert with a high libido, but a savior with the
potential to boost Kenya's economy.
"For us Dick is like Jesus
Christ," Malaika shouted through a bullhorn speaker, as her colleagues
in high heels screamed, shook their booties and waved thongs and
brassieres in the air. "Not only because he is a white man, but also
because of his tendency and willingness to pay $200 for each hour of a
beautiful lady's time. If he tells Parliament to enact that law, some
of us could retire in a week."
Malaika said that although
Members of Parliament had a warded themselves hefty pay increases and
bonuses in the last five years, the wages on Koinange Street still
remained unchanged.
"Politicians come here in newer and bigger
cars every night, but the pay is still in the low hundreds of shillings
per pop," she said. "You would think that being some of the highest
paid legislators in the world they would be generous to the women who
unclog their pipes, but these goons are selfish. That is why we want
Dick to introduce dollars, baby."
After Malaika's speech, the
near-naked women marched down Uhuru Highway to Parliament, literary
stopping traffic. Along the way motorists blew their horns in response
to the "HOOT IF YOU LIKE HOOTERS" placards that many of the women
carried.
When asked about the concerns of many Kenyans that
Dick's involvement would open doors for a second colonization of Kenya,
one woman asked, "What difference would it make? Haven't the black
people who have ruled us for over 40 years been acting like Europeans,
grabbing everything while we the poor are stripped of our dignity? At
least this white man is bringing dollars."
This reporter was
shocked by how articulate the woman was, but was later reminded that
many of the demonstrators were college-educated women who had failed to
secure jobs.
On President Mwai Kibaki's statement that Raila had "lost the way" by inviting Dick, another demonstrator simply said, "Pumbavu. Pumbavu huyo."
At
Parliament there was confusion when the women of KUMAA, after breaking
into the august house, found not a single MP in the chambers.
"Cowards! Cowards! Those cowards ran away," the women screamed as they mooned the empty chairs.
It
took a while for them to catch on that Parliament had been dissolved
weeks ago. Apparently, because most of KUMAA's members work at night
and sleep during the day, they had missed the news.
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Ombuya E. Okongo |
| About the author: |
| Edwin is a widely published Kenyan journalist, humorist, memoirist and satirist in the United States.
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Last Updated ( Saturday, 12 April 2008 )
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We have issues and it seems that we must deal with them in an honest way. Let us remember the teaching that
"Let him who is without sin cast.....
It is great to be back online.......