There is little to separate Kenyan politicians. Their plans all sound the same, sound-bite after inanity promising rain in Moyale and snow in Kitale, the same old race to force manna out of the clouds. Vision 2030, free and compulsory primary schooling, free secondary schooling, national social security for all, free milk, free ghee (all funded by cutting taxes), you know the same old story. So you will forgive me for not launching into an analysis of the people's president's campaign launch and its manifesto.

Instead I should like to focus attention on the ability of the man to sell himself, Raila the package, the best marketer in East and Central Africa. Every Kenyan living within three minutes of another has heard of Raila, even more they feel something about him and it is this fact more than any other that propels Raila to the front of the national agenda every single time. While his detractors and opponents engage in a fantasy world where they represent vastly improved versions of the Kenyan mwananchi, Raila proudly lives what he calls ‘the Kenyan dream.' He is unabashed in his love for popular sports; his rhetorical references and his sense of style are music to the ears of the people whether on a slippery slope in the Gusii Highlands, or in safe waters in Kadem.

Even his violent thugs are popular. Does anyone decent really prefer being beaten up by masked men in a midnight raid to being roughed up by sweaty young men shouting nyundo, nyundo? Surely there's less moral culpability with the young men, impassioned with nothing but a whiff of power and some well-cured bhang leaves. And those nicknames, keywords if you like. While his opponents walk around sporting ridiculous and irreverent names even his most ardent detractors cannot help but be awed by the onomatopoeic brilliance of tags like Agwambo, Tinga or even now Nyundo. Hard and manly these names and no wonder Kalonzo is sliding in the polls. All you had to say was that the man was soft, and he started to smell like old chicken. So hard in fact is Raila that even those who call him a ‘boy' fear him more than they fear their sternest braves. Kenyans love a man's man. Now bullying is OK, all politicians do it, perfidy, cheating, strong manning, it all comes with the territory and if you believe otherwise you live in a comic book.

His speech may sound inane to anyone with an above average schooling but talk of Teutonic discipline, quotes from Bismarck, Churchill, Reagan and the Kennedy brothers are just what tickle the patriots taste-buds and leave them asking for more. Dr. Mahathir Mohammed is a renowned miracle worker, and a cultured well read strong man, so let's slip him into the speech here. After all, Kenyans do keep asking for a benevolent dictator do they not? A good master?

Hummers? Helicopter trips? Have a problem with that? Sit on it, eat the dust we raise, my snobbish friend, we don't. He is the people's president. Black, white and orange all over.