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Beauty is skin deep

Written by Wambani
Sunday, 13 May 2007
Appearance is a very large determining factor when choosing a mate.But how effective is it in choosing the right mate. Many of us discover that we often lose out when we use that as a criteria. I have met a man. I had just come out of a bad relationship. A cruel man who was never satisfied. I was a university graduate , employed, not well-paid but employed . He on the other hand was unemployed and living with his cousin. He was a man of expensive tastes and no money and I ended up paying for his expensive habits and his lack of self esteem. When he hit me I knew I had to leave but by then he had shattered myself esteem. I swore off relationships and men. Then I met this man.He seems nice enough. Loves me to bits. I had a problem he is shorter than me. I must admit I hid him from my friends and family for the first bit of our relationship. On the other hand he has introduced me to every member of his family including his parents. I have just realized that I was more afraid of what people would say than what I felt. Here I am about to jeopardize a relationship with a man who could be potentially a good husband and a loving father. What is it with us. Why are we so preoccupied with appearances? How many people have missed out on wonderful relationships because the other person does not meet our friends' standards. Well I have learned one thing not to pay attention to physical appearance. My current man may not be that tall but he is caring, understanding and puts my needs first. He has helped me heal from the scars of my past relationship. I shudder to think that I might have missed a chance of knowing this wonderful man because of misconceptions about physical attributes. There are so many people wonderful people out there that are overlooked because they are not tall, dark and handsome or pretty. I will stick to my man no matter what people think. I just hope my kids are born tall. Related Articles: Fatherhood Blues Kenya's crisis talks continue - four documents How not to write a service charter Kibaki's new Democracy Uhuru's great bet; is he the new Professor of Politics? Set as favorite Bookmark Email This Trackback(0) TrackBack URI for this entry Comments (4) Subscribe to this comment's feed Show/Hide comments instinctively appearance orien written by a guest , May 14, 2007 while i know of no scientific proof that we are appearance oriented, i still believe that appearance is not the mainstay to a person but rather a window as to the personality which counts more in a long term relationship!if it fits dont ditch! report abuse vote down vote up Votes: +0 ... written by collo , May 14, 2007 nice piece! report abuse vote down vote up Votes: +0 ... written by Jayawardene , May 14, 2007 Appearance is not everything but remember that one always chooses the freshest-looking, brightest tomatoes when shopping at the market. Sometimes I am described as a non-athletic, inhaler-owning, bespectacled four-foot-something and I can certainly identify with the message in this beautiful article by Wambani. This article gives us that most important commodity of all : Hope report abuse vote down vote up Votes: +0 ... written by aeichener , May 14, 2007 Hm. When it comes to tomatoes, what I go for is good, tasteful flesh, not a deceptively round, shiny appearance with only water and astringent kernels inside. But I am commenting from an array of European (Dutch, Italian, German) tomatoes here where I presently live. Now, as not to insinuate any misleading parallels through the metaphor that Jayawardene chose (ahem), let me say that I like the other metaphor which the first Anonymous chose. Appearance can tell one a bit about the person, notably that part of appearance which oneself can influence or take care of. Whether you are tall or small (the number one criteria that women apply to men throughout the world, sigh), whether you are slim or rounded (the number one criteria that men apply to women throughout the world, but in different ways, culture dependent), is nothing you can fundamentally influence. But your grooming, your dressing style, your mimics and your behaviour, you certainly have them in your own hands. Hm. I also still wonder why there are many men who like tall women (taller ones than themselves, too), but virtually no women who like smaller men. Height is the instinctive and automatic no. 1 negative selector here. While not really small myself (I measure 1,77 m), I admit being a bit miffed here. Alexander report abuse vote down vote up Votes: +0 Show/Hide comment form Write comment Name Email Title Comment smaller \| bigger Subscribe via email (Registered users only) I have read and agree to the Terms of Usage. Write the displayed characters
Last Updated ( Sunday, 13 May 2007 )

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