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Pfizer has just been forced to cough up a couple billion dollars. The fine wasn’t because of a lawsuit, but because the company had been marketing drugs illegally. This is utter madness. What happened to the good old days when some idiot claimed that the writing on the labels was so small that he ended up taking Viagra instead of vitamins and almost… this and the other, you finish the line.

This time Pfizer was fined after getting a bit too greedy and lying about what some of the drugs did. I believe they forgot that they were a drug company which meant that they did not even need to spend all that money on ads. Instead of lying they could just have had plain, no-label pill bottles. The drugs sell themselves, and market through word of mouth.

I always roll with 28 aspirin pills, not because I have chronic headaches. It is because they can come in handy in thinning blood. This is very helpful in case an over-zealous sperm with a severe case of ADHD breaks through the prophylactic fort, makes its way into the egg’s nest, and tries to establish residence. I would then prescribe several aspirins which would march in like an army on steroids and quickly evict the zygote.

So, Pfizer doesn’t need to advertise any of that. Let me figure it out for myself. Of course, if I screw up, I can always sue. Like the good old days.